I just found out what my biggest fear was. It all started as I was watching the lights of car headlights dance around on my cealing. I fell asleep for 10 minutes. 10 minutes. I deamt the most horrible dream ever. Normailly I don't dream.

I dreamt that a person came into my life and pretended to get to know me and unsuspectly he killed everyone that I knew and loved. I was then put into a dimly lit cell where I was cold and alone. I was so scared that I killed myself.

I woke up shaking and cold. I cried. I cried for about 20 minutes while I prayed to God. I asked him what that meant. Right now I'm looking at past emails that Matt has sent to me. Trying to prove myself wrong. I'm not alone. But right now it feels like I am.  

Being alone is my biggest fear ever. I'm not talking about being alone in a room. I'm talking about being alone forever. Having no one to guide you through your life. I don't want to be alone.